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please stand by hey folks!we're back! that's right, friday DNN is back with vengeance,so run out and tell everybody,cause thing...

Saturday, December 21, 2013

no moe,ho!ho!ho!

Hey folks, it's uh, Saturday!
and you all know what that means right?

it's the DNN's special Christmas edition!!!!

so get a cup of hot chocolate and cozy up by the fire place, because things are about to get  merrier than a mug, up in this piece.lol

As the count down to Christmas gets closer and closer,we here at DNN would like to propose an agreement to all of  those  right- winged Christians(i.e.FoxNews veiwers) who would like to take back their holidays,and have a  "white" Christmas, by arguing over a fictional character's skin color,smh, ok we will give you Santa Claus,  Rudolf, the Christmas tree and all the jingle bells that you can can handle, but according to geologist and  biblical scriptures, Jesus Christ was probably blacker  then Obama, so you might want to give him back to us, deal!?

Anyways that's it for now. We'll see you on the other side, so from all of us here at DNN, 

we say peace! !!!

Friday, December 6, 2013

fade to black

hey folks it's Friday!!!!!
 yep,you no longer have to daydream about the weekend because it's merely hours away,and even though the weather outside is frightful,nothing can stop us from having a good one.

anyways,It's the first Friday of December and things are already starting to look like Christmas around here, sleet and snow everywhere, and I even caught a fat white man wearing a red jump suit trying to break into my place the other night.lol
But seriously folks, we here at DNN would like to take a moment to talk about this so called phenomenon known as "the knockout game", and how you can avoid getting knock the f%$#k out

if you're driving down the highway and you cut off  another driver, please do not pull over to try an explain to this person why you're such an A-hole, you might become the latest victim of the k.o.game.

if you are  drinking at a bar, please do not tell your bubby  just how hot you  think his slutty girlfriend is, you might become the latest victim of the k.o.game

if you know a sensible  black guy  with good taste, please don't tell him just how great you think the Tyler Perry movies are, you might become a victim of the knockout game, and finally if  you don't  think that DNN is the greatest network of all time, you might become the  victim of the k.o.game.

So there you you have it, and with that, we will see  you good people on the other side, so from all of  us here at DNN, we say peace! !!!
besides a slight  headache and some  memory lost,  intern Biff Whiteman is recovering and resting comfortable at home.

Friday, November 22, 2013

the first thanks for nothing

hey folks,guess what today is!??
that's right it's Friday!!!but not just any friday,oh no,no,no,it's  DNN's special holiday edition!
yep,with thanksgiving less than a week away, we felt it was time to get into the o' holiday spirit.

well, since this holiday is suppose to be about giving thanks, we decided to ask the members of our news crew just what they are thankful for.

Chuck Johnson  head anchor of DA'NEWS said,"i'm thankful for my barber who always keep my hair line nice and sharp every week,and i'm also thankful for Fox ,and the other news outlets out there,because if it wasn't for them you wouldn't know just how great of an ass kick'in they receive from us on a daily bases. 

Tina Butterfield co anchor of DA'NEWS  said,"i'm thankful for blue mascara, Pumpki spice latte,black athletes,and oh,what he (Chuck Johnson)said.

Bary Huggs weatherman of DA'NEWS said,"i'm thankful for warm weather,cigars,and the end of this cheesy ass interview,oh and what he(Chuck Johnson) said.

and with that DNN is also thankful for you,the viewers,who makes doing this even more awesome!

well that's it for now,we'll see you folks on the other side,so from all of us here at DNN we say



Friday, November 15, 2013

spineless jocks

well hello there folks,it's friday!!!
man,we haven't said that magical word in awhile,but who needs deadlines anyway huh!?
the weekend is about twelve hours away,we've just got paid,and even though my check is laughing at me like
i was doing stand-up at the comedy  factory,that's not going to kill my vibe.

anyways,with all of the controversy that's going on in the NFL you'd have to be a Toronto Mayor to think that the  league isn't racist,and even though the players play a part in this"locker room culture",you only can expect so much from brutes who think that a band aid and a lolly pop is good enough for treating a concussion,"just keep me in the game coach!" SMH.

well  that all for now,like always we will see you on the other side,so from all of us here at DNN,we say



Saturday, October 26, 2013

hoe's night

hello there folks!
i hope that everyone is doing good on this lovely day.

it's the last weekend of October,fall is in the air,and DNN is slowly getting it's "swag" back.
that's right, if  Kobe can come back from his injuries,then surely we can make our triumphant return back to
comic strip supremacy.

anyways, Halloween is upon us,and usually that means being on the look out for those little trick-or-treaters crossing the streets in your neighborhood, but nowadays instead of small goblins and ghosts you'll see more harlots,and hoes parading through the streets on that night. although it may seem like a win win for both dad and kids,"trick'n for treats" is still illegal in 50 states.

well that's it for now,we'll see you on the other side.so from all of us here at DNN we say 


Saturday, October 19, 2013

the R-word

hey there folks!
long time no post huh?!
well  we've taken a little hiatus in order to get some business done,but not to worry we are working hard to get back on a some what regular schedule real soon!one of those businesses that's being getting our attention is the now 90%completion of "DA'NEWS season one", which is a collection of all our classic episodes(80+pages)from 2012-2013 bond together in one awesome book,so stay tune for more details and the release date!!!

now,back to the business at hand...Washington redskins owner Wallace Snyder continues to keep the racist tradition going , by not giving a damn about the people that his franchise disrespects every season,after trying to justify  keeping the team name by claiming it is showing honor to Native-Americans,and saying well they refer to themselves as redskins(sounds familiar?),he brought out the big guns and said that his father-in-law who's a native,says that he's not offended by the name,after that something wonderful happen,his father-in- law came out and made a statement saying he was misquoted by his greedy,bigot ass son-in-law.(guess who want be coming home for thanksgiving dinner this year.)smh

now we would like to hear from you.

should the NFL step in and tell Washington to change the name or head to the Canadian foot league?   
should Snyder hire Paula Deen for race sensitivity classes?
should RG3 be looking for another jobs just yet?

anyways that's all for now,so from all of us here at DNN we say,

we're BACK!!!!!!!

Saturday, September 7, 2013

twerk it out

hello there folks,it's..it's the weekend!yay!
that's right even though we're half way  through it,it's still just as sweet,so let's continue to enjoy shall we.
well it's September and all is well here at  Da'News network,yep,the sun is still shining,the birds are still chirping and some where in the world Miley Cyrus has popped a "molly" and is still twerking..lol

speaking of Miley, Billy ray, come get your  wild ass daughter,cause we know she must be achy breaking your heart right about now.

geez,from that's so raven,Jett Jackson,and now Hanna Montana,what the hell did Disney do to these kids!smh
anyways as the time and the season continue to change,we here at DNN do not,that's right we've got the same great taste that you guys have come to love,and the word out on the street is that there's much more to come,so stay tuned.

that's it for now,we will see you guy's on the other side,so from all of us here at DNN,we say peace!!!


Friday, August 30, 2013

back to school

well,hello there folks!
it's Friday as if you didn't know so ummmm yay!
glad you could make it,cause this weekend just got a little more awesome by one extra day in fact,that's right it's the labor day weekend!

the holiday that marks the end of Summer fun and the beginning of Fall delights.(wait,what?)

it also marks the new school year which is always an exciting,adrenalin rushing,heart pounding,adventure,not only for the s.w.a.t. team but for the  kids as well.(i joke)

but seriously folks,we at DNN truly hope that this will be a safe, fun  and productive school year across the nation and world.(cause we love the kiddies)
anyways, for all of those who are lucky to be off on Monday(everyone but me!), fire up the grill ,and have a cold one,and we'll see you  next week.

so from all of us here at the station we say peace!!! 

Friday, August 23, 2013

got jokes?

hey folks,it's Friday!!!!!!!
and you know what?i never met a Friday that i didn't like.lol
the weekend is less then 14 hours away,so let the count down begin!!YAHOOOO!

anyways something wonderful happen a week ago that  DNN would like to applaud.
no,no,not the revealing of  the so called"Harriet Tubmen sex tape that "hussell"simmons tried to poison the people with under the guise of entertainment,but by the reaction that most people had after witnessing this 
train wreck.yes it seems like the public's taste is starting to change from the consumption of dumb down late 90's comedy Def Jam era,that simmons is trying to bring back.you the people spoke out at this nonsense
so much,that the little worm decided to take it down.could this truly mark the end of cooning season!?
i doubt it,(not  while Tyler Perry is still out there),but one can only hope. 

anyways that's about it for now,as always we'll see ya on the other side. so from all of us here at DNN ,we say peace!!!!!!!!



Friday, August 9, 2013

Juicy Juiced up

hey strangers!
guess what today is!?
it's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

yep,we are back in the land of the living and now staring directly at the weekend,and boy,does it feel good!
where have we been for two weeks,is the question that's on the minds of our faithful viewers.well folks,we have been attending to life's distractions,(day job B.S.) alone the way we also did some soul searching,and do you know what we come to conclude?that's right!the world needs DNN  more the ever.

the world needs DNN like a fat kid needs that last slice of cake,like a fish needs water,and like a baseball player needs that "juice".and if that's the case,who are we to deny  the people of  great new and entertainment to ever hit the web.

so if we miss a post or two, don't worry,just know that the cape is still on(superman style),and like tax season we will be back before ya know it.lol   

now,it's time to get back to work.

so from all of use here at DNN we say Peace!!!!


Saturday, July 20, 2013

Justice for Just-us

well hello there folks,do you know what today is!?
it's,it's ...yeah it's Saturday morning,so uh,yay for Saturday mornings!

that's right we are well into the weekend, well into the month of July and well into the "dog days" of summer.
speaking of summer,a lot of  folks are  taking vacations across the country and abroad ,but there's one place on the map that's not looking to pleasing right about now,it's the place where palm trees,retirees,and fake cop wannabes are the norm.
a place that tries to trip up it's voters or (miscounting votes) use other shady under handed tactics every election year. a place where you can murder a kid,give yourself a bloody nose and two superficial scratches on the back of your head and call it self-defense.(psss! it's called the stand your ground law not pussies with a gun can shoot law) yes it's that "sunshine" state better known as Florida.yep this is the place where black folks can be picked for  racial profiling all day,but can't get picked for shit,when it comes to jury selections.

anyways visit at your on rests,i know the people of Sanford are  resting easy tonight,knowing that good ole poor defenseless martial art trained(beady eyed) georgy is keeping vigilance. lol

until next time we here at DNN say
f@#!ck G.Z. and his supporters.

Friday, June 28, 2013

welcome to the south...again

well, hello there good people!!!it's Friday!!!!!
that's right,and what could possibly be better than a Friday you ask?(wait for it.) a pay day Friday of course! (yay,for minimum wage!) 
so with little change in our pockets, we would like to welcome you all to the weekend!

anyways,the talk around here is about high fat,cholesterol cooking racists Paula Deen .

after admitting that she uses the N-word in a deposition,and starting to worry about her cooking empire crumbling Paula sets out to do some damage control.

she's made videos apologizing ,she's made appearances on morning talk shows apologizing,she has even  showed us her black friend by telling him to bring his black monkey ass out on stage so that the world could see just how black he really was.  

yep,we are surprise that so many people haven't forgiven this sweet little lady and her alcoholic,strip club simpimg brother"bubba" for discrimination.after all, we got it all wrong,they are not racist,they just dream of having a plantation style wedding,ya know with little nigglets in bow ties.SMH.(were's Django when you need him..lol)

  anyway, that's it for now,and like always we'll see you on the other side,so from all of use here at DNN,we say peace!!!!!!!!!


Friday, June 21, 2013

baby yeezy

well, what do you know,it's Friday!yippeeee!!!

that's right it's the first day of summer,and you know what that means,it's time to sip on lemonade and then later take a dip in the old swimming hole,ahhh!!!!the good life..lol

ya know folks we here at DNN  take pride and bringing you the top news story every week or so,and although other news outlets are talking about Syria, the NSA and other (boring) world events, we know just what you guys want to see.....that's right,BABIES!!!yes, we are the first to bring you exclusive pics of celebrity babies and it didn't cost us a dime,let see if  CNN or the Associated press can do that.huh?!  

anyways,please enjoy this episode and rest a sure knowing that therer's alot more were this comes from(wait, what?).lol

that's it for now,the weekend is calling ,so we'll see you all on the other side,
from all of us here at DNN, we say peace!!

Friday, June 7, 2013

eating healthy

hey folks it's,it's,IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

and if you're reading this,i'd say that you're off to a good start!

what better way to start your weekend than spending some time with an old reliable friend,huh?

 yep, DNN is sort of like Lassie or Rin tin tin;we entertain and make a wonderful companion,but get us mad and we'll bite the hell outcha..lol

but serious folks,the talk around here is Michael Douglas  and his statements about his throat cancer and how  he may have gotten it..i don't know about you but just the thought of this old pops chowing down on  a Big Mack  gives me the creeps.

anyways,once again we would like to praise Chuck Johnson for his professionalism on bringing you this some what unsettling story.with poise and grace he fought back emotions...yes emotions of a 15 year old who would of laughed and  have said,"well, you are what you eat".ha!ha!
the morale of this story is,Chuck Johnson's like a boss,and don't you ever forget it.

that's it for now,we'll  see you good folks on the other side,so from all of  us here at DNN, we say

Friday, May 24, 2013

the check list

well hello folks!
it's friday!YIPPY!!!!!!!
that's right it's a  special holiday weekend, so you know what that means,drunken friends and BBQ.
we here at DNN wish you all  a safe holiday,and remember, real friends don't let friends over cook those ribs maaaan!

anyways,we would like to think Carolyn Moos(jason collins's ex-boo) for coming by after she had some time to reflect back on her relationship (with down low bro collins,)and produced a list to help other females quickly spot a lier who could waste five good years of your life.although she doesn't seem to be bitter about the whole situation,we here at DNN  had to asked the real question, should  jason collins's ex-girl be given a pass,and allowed to now call him a punk ass "N" word?,at least one good time?

we want to hear from you.

leave a comment  here or call us at 1-800-4DZ-NUTZ.

well that's it for now,what are you waiting for, fire up that grill,and we'll see  you on the other side.so from all of us here at DNN we say peace!!!!  

Friday, May 10, 2013

a hero's meal

well, hello there folks!!!
guess what today is!?????
it's monday!!!!!!!!!nah,i'm just messing with ya.hee!
it's Friday! yayyyy!!!!
Boy O'Boy! the weekend is here and that means that  you don't have to stare at your co workers for two whole days!!!!(thank god!)

anyways,reporting the news can be tough at times,finding interesting stories and characters can be a daunting task,but every so often we'll get characters that make our job a little easier i.e.Mr.Charlse Ramsey.now we're not big on jumping on bandwagon's but this story is crazy on so many levels,at the end of the day it is what it is.
Is he a true American hero? maybe,but one thing for sure he made this friday's posting fun as hell.lol

well that's it for now,see you all on the other side,so from all of us here at DNN we say

Thursday, April 25, 2013



hey folks it's friday!!!!!

that's right the weekend is here,i can almost taste it,time to kick back relax,watch the game and maybe take in a movie or two.speaking of movies,we would like to send condolences out to the people across the united states and abroad, who had to sit and watch the latest Tylor  Perry movie(or any Taylor Perry movie for that matter.)"Temptation" that's been showing in theaters a  few months now.witnesses to this horrific scene said that things started to go down hill about twenty minutes into the film,you would think that the bad writing and the hideous acting would be enough to make a man's  blood run cold,but oh no,the sheer threat of  Madea  making an appearance,set off one of the worst attacks in cinema  history.
so to all of the victims just know that your pain is our pain and that we'll get through this together,because if he thinks that by making these god awful movies that we will continues to pay to watch  this crap up on the big screen,he doesn't know the resilience of the  American people(  next time,get the bootleg.). 

well that does it for now,we will see you on the other side for more breaking News & Entertainment,so from all of use here at DNN we say

Friday, April 12, 2013

Guns & Gays

hey folks it's friday!!!

yeah,yeah,we're running a little late,but reporting the news is hard work people.lol
well,its' April,and spring has sprung(for most of the  country)and DNN is still king of the castle,so bow down and kiss the ring suckas!
anyways,now that gay people everywhere are coming out and demanding equality,companies are trying to capitalize by making and selling products geared Strictly for them.sure they always had their on clothing stores(Abecromie & Fitch)but having their own gun?!now this is ground breaking folks!
we will have more as this story develops.

so there you have it, now go out an enjoy the weekend and we'll  see ya on the other side,so from all of use here at DNN we sayyyyyyyy,

Friday, March 29, 2013

confusions and illusions

hey folks it's the last friday of the month,and it's called good friday,but isn't every friday a "good friday?"
well give yourself a great big ole pat on the back cause you made it,and it's nothing but clear skies and apple pies from here on out.lol(at least until Monday.)we've like to think the history channel for giving us an exclusive look at their spin-off series of the bible,they promise more falsehoods and said  that Jesus will still be white but satan?,"oh, he'll remain black, like Obama, "and we also can expect santa and the easter bunny to make cameos
throughout the movie.(why not?if we are playing make believe we've might as well go all the way,right?)

anyways enjoy the weekend folks and we will see ya on the other side,as always,from all of us here at DNN
we say peace!!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

to catch a pope

say folks,somewhere in the world it's still friday!!!yay!!!!

looks like you all have started your weekend without me,shame on you!lol
but seriuosly folks we've been spanning the globe to bring  you the news as only  we can.

 the exciting  news this week was the Vatian selecting a new pope.we all stayed glued to our seats as we watch the smoke from the chimney turn colors to signal to the public what was happening inside the church.

if the smoke was black,it meant that no pope was chosen yet,but once the smoke turned white,then a pope was picked,and we could all go home now,and when the smoke turns blue,well another little altar boy has earned his wings.

 anyways,enjoy the  weekend and we'll you see ya on the otherside.(give or take)
so from all of us here at DNN we say


Friday, March 8, 2013

just chill'in

hey folks it's Friday!!!!!!!
well it's March,and believe it or not spring is around the corner,the ground hog called for it's early return, but in some parts of the country,seems old man winter is still fighting to hold on.(stubborn ole coot.)

anyways we'll make this short and sweet,DNN is still the greatest network of all time, bary huggs is a straight up "g",chuck johnson is a smooth operator,and tiny butterfield is,is, well, she's just white,but with all
of their powers combined,it's like freak'n Voltron folks!!!!(if you're not a comic book geek,from the 80's please google for reference.) 

so let's all watch in astonishment as the crew protect the universe and bring you the news that you can use.lol
i think that's enough rambling for today,so until next  friday, all of us here at the station,we say

Friday, February 22, 2013


weezy goes home.

hey folks it's Friday evening!!!!
that's right,we are a little late(computer problems),but who cares, it's the weekend baby!
it's the last Friday of the month and oh what a month it has been around here,Black History,Valentines day, Superbowl,meteors,just to name a few,i think i'm a bit worn out from it all,but not to worry our news team is working hard as we speak to keep you up to speed on the latest.

speaking of the latest,li l Wayne has
officially been banned from all NBA events after getting kicked out of a Miami Heats game for making gun jesters at fans.we at DNN are still wondering what's the problem?it's Miami after all,  guns,cocaine,and drive-byes are just as famous to the area as the warm weather and the beach.lol.anyways, when asked what he thought about his ban, Wayne had this to say"uh,i slept with Chris Bosh's wife!"
so there you have it folks from the man himself.

and with that we are off to the next episode,see ya on the other side.
from all of us here at DNN,we say peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 15, 2013

the pope resigns

well it's friday folks!!!
man o' man!the weekend never looked so good!!!!!!!!!!!
yes we here at DNN are back on a wining streak,three deadlines in a row to be exact!we've had some close calls this month with so many distractions (damn you internet porn.)but we made it! 

in a recent poll we ask viewers how they feel about the resignation of the Pope,and here's what you had to say:

40% said the Pope should have continued  until the church chose a successor,or at least until he died.
50% said Pope'in aint easy. and
10% said when you're 80 something  years old chasing little chore boys can be hard as hell.

so there you have it folks another episode in the can.

 until next friday  were we will attempt to do it all over again,we here at DANEWS say

Friday, February 8, 2013

twinkle toes

hey folks,it's Friday!!!!!!!!yaaaayyyy!!!!

so give your boss the middle finger,and say hello to the temporary freedom also known as the weekend!!!

well last Sunday sports fans tuned in to watch the Superbowl.(and Beyonce!ummmm!!!)and oh what a game it was,the Raven jumped out to a big  lead and held on for dear life as the 49ers woke up and came back with vengeance and damn nearly pull it off!but it was a little to late.

why i'm i telling you this for,you saw the game,anyways we at DNN would like to congratulate the Baltimore Ravens, but especially Ray Lewis for winning the super bowl and going out on top,(somewhere in new England a patriot's wife is pissed.),lord knows the last one he was in,well let's just say things didn't exactly go as plan.( hot wings,strippers and alcohol could ruin your night).so here's to you Ray,we're glad to have seen you dancing on the field rather then twerking  behind bars.

and with that,it's off to the next episode,(see ya there next friday.)so from all of us here at the station,we say

Friday, February 1, 2013

gotta be the shoes

3,2,1,he shoots!!!!!!he scores!!!!!!!!!!!yaaay!!!!
hey folks it's friday!
yep,that's right,the weekend is here and for all of you sports fans,the count down to Superbowl Sunday begins, now!.
speaking of sports we here at DNN have finally put two  wins (or posts) together! we're feeling kind of like Kobe Bryant and the lakers right about now.yes!!!.(now, where the white women at?!)lol

anyways,it's  Black History Month!!!
time to learn about the past and plan for the future,and you better get started now,cause you only have 27 days to go.

so what are you waiting for huh!?get out there and learn something,and we'll see ya next Friday, same bat time and same bat channel(give or take.).

so from all of us here at DNN,we say peace!  

Friday, January 25, 2013

Oogling Guys of America

well hello there folks! it's friday!!!
and oh what a friday it is!i'm just getting over a 24hour virus,and i just got paid,so yeah i'm pretty happy right now(in the words of charle sheen"i'm winning baby!")
we a DNN are just super excited to be bringing you another year of News&Entertainment from around the globe,how excited you ask,well,like Brett Musberger looking at your sexy  girl friend!!!.lol.(shout out to manti te'o and his girl friend as well, R.I.P.)but seriously folk we've got some fun and cool things planned for the future,so make sure to bookmark your favorite site on the net, (no not penthouse ya pervs..)Da News!!!  

so until next friday,we say peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Planet Yeezy

well, what do you know,it's Friday!!!!!
that's right folks it's the first posting of the new year!(yaaaaayyy!!!)

DNN has had it's annual check up and we are up to date on all of our shots, so we're  ready for another crazy year! season one was so fun that we decide to come back for more,so as we kick off season two,just know that the crew is turning the "swag meter" up a notch(for all of our younger readers.)this year.so let's get into it yo!
last year we opened to excitement over the birth of Beyonce and jay's baby daughter Blue Ivy,and this year Kanye and Kim has announce that  they are having a baby as well,and with that comes so many question,like 

number 1,is Kanye really the father?(put Maury Povich on speed dual playa...am just saying.) 

number 2,what will they name it?(gotta outstage his homie with that Blue Ivy crap,so this should be good.)

and number 3,how will they explain the sex tape to junior?(look here little nikka ya moma's a hoe.)

all of these questions and more  will  be explored as we welcome you all  back for DA NEWS!!!(season two!!)
so until next friday we say peace!!!!!!!!